Sunday, March 26, 2017

Even in Arcadia



Nicolas Poussin painted a famous picture in the 1630s entitled “Et in Arcadia Ego”, which may be translated as, “Even in Arcadia I am.” Arcadia, though a real place, has long been synonymous with the ideal of a pastoral paradise, a land with no industry, where people live in harmony with nature; in other words, a kind of utopia. The painting features several shepherds examining a tombstone, with the title words engraved upon it. The meaning most scholars have ascribed to the image is that of death being present even in the best of worlds.


Two years ago today, my friend Tungsten died. She had been with me for less than eight years, but we were together every day of that time and, except for one or two over-night stays in the veterinary hospital, every night, as well. I’ve described the orange one previously, and told of her character, and how it has affected me. I won’t repeat myself here; I’ll save that repetition for another time.


I may inveigh about how Tungsten was taken away with so many years yet to live, but in fact, in this world of uncertainty – which seems to be growing more uncertain every day – I prefer to be grateful for the relatively short period during which she was with me. The tiny terror – a nickname that her means of disciplining bigger cats earned her – could have been killed earlier by one of the many illnesses, conditions or tragedies that afflict our pets. Or, by any number of chances, she could have gone to someone else. But as it was, she came to me, and she and I shared half of her life.


I miss Tungsten every day. Even so, while people have for millennia realised the truth that even in Arcadia there is death, I like to remember that there is also life. And I am lucky to have been able to spend some of that with my friend.


23 comments:

  1. Oh, John, what a wise face she had. I can just imagine how special she was. I love that you honor the years that you had together and not dwell on her life cut short. It was a full life, nonetheless...full of love.

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    1. It's hard sometimes not to think of the times we won't have together, but I am lucky nonetheless, very lucky.

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  2. I can so relate to your every word. As grateful as I am for Abby, I still feel the loss so deeply, even now more than before. After nearly 30 years I just went through a divorce and the process is raw and causes one to re examine each aspect of one's life. I am very thankful for each of my cats because they helped in so many ways cope with this unexpected life change, but oh how I miss my old girl. She was the one who truly knew how to comfort me. I miss her greatly.

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    1. These little creatures are gifts to us; God's way of showing that He is with us, no matter what. But sometimes there is a special one who knows us better than any other.

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  3. Two years! The time passes so quickly, but the pain of loss never goes. My thoughts are with you as you remember your beloved tiny terror, Tungsten.

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    1. Yes, the time flies, too fast. Routines re-adjust themselves quickly when we lose someone, but the memories remain, thank goodness.

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  4. What a beautiful tribute to Tungsten. She was indeed special. Even though our loved ones may be gone, they are always with us in our memories and in our hearts. Our memories enable us to keep those we love alive. My thoughts are with you, John.

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    1. Thank God for memories. I think being forgotten would be the worst of punishments. Certainly my orange one will live as long as I do.

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  5. What a beautifully-written post. I think you're wise to focus on being thankful for having had those years with her, rather than depressed or bitter that the Fates didn't grant you more. My thoughts are with you, with soft purrs from Nicki and Derry. Peace. ♥

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    1. There is always someone worse off than I; in this case, someone who didn't know the companionship of such a creature as Tungsten. I know that I've been lucky.

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  6. Wonderful post. Your love for Tungsten comes through beautifully.

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  7. Appreciating the time you had with Tungsten is a reminder to all of us to cherish the time we have with our dear animal companions. I love the photo of Tungsten. I miss my Jessica very much. I am looking at two photos of her at my desk in the office.

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    1. Though we love all of our pets, there is always seems to be that one.

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  8. John, your love for Tungsten and all the other cats who live there with you is very evident. And I know you will not take issue with one of the topics I write of in my personal blog and sometimes Katie's. That being that when we love our pets, no matter cat or dog, and show that love with gentle treatment, loving care of their needs and gentleness each day and without change; they will and do love you back. And that love is palpable. Not just a fancy we have. It's real. I have had Katie for 5 years and she has been protected and loved continually. She has always shown love back but in the past three years...it is as though she speaks her love it is so evident in what she does. Katie will be THE one though I loved them all, still do, with my whole heart. But Katie, she is like a little soul mate. I understand your grief for Tungsten as do all of us here. And I like your being happy that you had the opportunity to share her life with her. Her face and expression in that picture you posted is alive with her own love for you.

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  9. You filled the all too brief years you had together with a lifetime of love. You were special to each other and enriched each other's lives immeasurably. The bond you had was deep and unbreakable. The memories of her are happy, memories, golden memories. We never need to explain or justify what we had with these special animals but allow ourself to cherish every last thought of them. We don't need to move on because the past does not hold us back. We feel free to hold on to these happy times and even shed tears because these special friends have given us enormous gifts that have made us better people than we were before knowing them. Isn't that what real love and friendship is?

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    1. What a wonderful comment. It applies to us all who have cherished our fur children.

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    2. Indeed. Kari is quite right, especially about the past not holding us back. It makes us what we are, and enables us to go forward. Well written, Kari.

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  10. Thinking of you, John. I understand the feeling of loss that is tempered by the gratitude of the time we were able to spend with our beloved cats. Especially with those we've bonded so closely, as you did with Tungsten.

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    1. I've found that re-arranging routine often helps when you lose someone, but thankfully, the memories never go. It's always hard, nonetheless.

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  11. Two years has flown by. Tungsten was your heart kitty and those of us blessed to have a "heart" cat or dog know how they can fill the soul. She certainly was a tiger in a little body :)

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    1. She was that. She was the boss and there hasn't been another.

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  12. Tungsten was a beautiful girl. I know you will be reunited with her in Heaven.

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