Thursday, February 7, 2019

How He Will Leave Me



Wednesday afternoon, Parker went to see his new doctor. What she had to say about the orange boy’s health was not pleasant to hear.

Parker is dying. He will probably be gone within a few weeks. He has cancer. I saw the x-rays taken of him, and the tumour is huge. It fills at least a third of the organ cavity. His kidneys and pancreas have been displaced, pushed aside, as may be the lungs. It was impossible to see the stomach because of the tumour’s size, but it too was likely moved from where it should be.

Parker’s appetite will continue to diminish, as will his consumption of water, which is already much reduced from what it was. He may be in a little discomfort now - I have noticed him lying more often than normally on his chest rather than his side - but not in pain. That may come. I declined on his behalf the offer of painkillers for now. It is a trial for him to be given medicine and I want to deny him stress for as long as possible. I also decided against an increase in his insulin. The doctor stated that it may make him more comfortable, but it would also throw his diabetes management into confusion. That may seem to be academic now, like repairing a house under an erupting volcano, but I don’t want any changes in his insulin dosage to mask the effects of the cancer, which I will need to see in order to judge when to give him pain-relief, and when to say ‘good-bye’ to him.

My orange boy was not happy at the veterinary hospital. He has been growing more and more agitated and angry at different locations and different people. I don’t know if this is a symptom of his illness, the cancer making him uncomfortable enough to be cranky with strangers and strange places. He remains friendly and affectionate with me.

He ate an excellent dinner last evening, after returning from the doctor, and kept it all down (a major concern when someone who eats little eats much). I will be feeding him whatever he will eat. The percentage of carbohydrates in his food means little now. He has gone off Temptation Treats, which he had previously enjoyed, but still likes his bits of arrowroot biscuit, so he will be receiving a dish of those from time to time, though not so often that he grows weary of them.

The most difficult part - until the moment comes when he has to die - will be determining when Parker will go. I hope he will make it clear to me but, as many who have had pets know, that is not always the case. I will watch my friend, and listen to what he has to tell me, and hope that I understand him. Until then, we will carry on, and I will try to forget now and then how he will leave me.

23 comments:

  1. I hesitate to write this John. But my only thought is, I can't bear it. I am so so sorry for Parker and for you. And us.

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  2. I am so very sorry to hear of Parker’s diagnosis. Sending many warm thoughts and purrayers your way. Linda

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  3. Oh John, I'm at a loss as to what to say. This is such devastating news. Please know that we share your pain and that our thoughts and prayers are with you and Parker.

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  4. I am so sorry to hear this, I truly am. I don't know what to say but you know my thoughts are with you and dear Parker. I feel devastated as if he were mine so I know how you are feeling. Mere words I know, but I send my love and prayers.

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  5. Awwww we are so sorry to hear this news for both you and your boy. Truly we thank you though for giving this fellow a loving home, a warm bed, food to eat and some walks outside. Even if his roomies are a bit aloof - he is lucky to have you.

    Hugs and pats to you both.

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  6. John - would you accept some money to help to pay for Parkers vet bills? I would like to help lighten your load by chipping in a little for the vet visits.

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    1. Thank you for the generous offer, but in this case Parker is, officially, a foster-cat. His health-care bills are paid by the rescue-group. Thank you for thinking of that.

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    2. John - could donations be made to the rescue?

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    3. The Lethbridge PAW Society would be grateful for any donations: http://pawsociety.com/donations.html

      But this certainly isn't necessary on anyone's part. Despite what cynics say, thoughts and prayers are splendid donations in themselves, and I thank everyone for them.

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  7. Oh dear, such devastating news and we're all so very sorry. Parker is such a sweetie and we know how much you care for him and love him. Hugs to you both from all of us.

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  8. John, I'm so sorry. You had hinted this might be the case, but I kept hoping it was something treatable. Less than a year ago, I went through the same thing with my Mac, and I'm still sick about it. Knowing that a cat will soon leave you, and you're helpless to do anything about it, is a dreadful thing, yet another pain this strange world of ours puts in our path.

    I wish there was something I could do to help. All I can say is I'll keep Parker in my thoughts and wish him an easy end to what I believe will be a better place beyond. I know you'll do everything possible to make that happen.

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  9. This *is* devastating news, even though I know it's not unexpected for you. I still was holding out hope that this wasn't the case. I wish I had words to offer, but all I have at the moment are tears. I'm very sorry for you both and am keeping you in my thoughts and "prayers."

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  10. Oh John, I am so very sorry. I had hoped, too, for different news. I'm grateful he is with you, though sad that you must go through this journey with him.

    Purrs from the cats, and my wish that Parker's passing will be easy.

    Eileen

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  11. Sad news indeed, gentle wooos and prayers for a peaceful passing,

    Nuk & Family

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  12. oh no....we are terrible heartbroken for all of you. we hope you can hold on to the fact that he got a wonderful second chance with you - even if it wasn't long enough.

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  13. Well, I am gobsmacked, and my heart is leaking through my eyes. I am so very sorry to hear this news about Parker, and pray that whatever time is left for him is peaceful and pain-free.

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  14. dood....we R tryin R veree best N hardest... ta bee big catz... N knot cry...

    N itz knot werkin...

    sew we will cry bee coz ....

    9000 thingz fillz R mindz rite now N we canna even put em ta print ~~~~~~~~~

    we loves ewe dood ♥♥♥♥♥♥

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  15. I am so sorry that Parker is terminally ill. I will be praying he doesn't suffer and can enjoy what time he has left. XO

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  16. Oh John! What devastating news! I was hoping the vet might be wrong. My tears are flowing for this guy. He's been such a trooper and I'm so glad you have been his caregiver and friend. I hope and pray his last days are not too uncomfortable but at least he will have you by his side the whole way. Please give him a hug and kiss from a faraway friend. My thoughts are with both of you.

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  17. I as a cat lover, as someone who has had cats all my life, as a nurse, as a cat mom, can totally sympathize. Last year we had a scare with our oldest, Cory (15 yrs). He had a cancerous tumor of the sebaceous gland that grew very large, very fast. Luckily, the cancer was confined to that one area, and we have had him for another year. Of course, he now has kidney disease and has lost a lot of weight, and I know he's not getting any younger. So, for the time we have left with him, I will cherish every moment. You should do the same, as I am sure you will.

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  18. Oh this is awful news. I am thinking of both you and Parker. The only light is knowing that Parker is leaving this life as a much loved companion. He is having the very best of care with you. While his time with you hasn't been long it is more than made up by an abundance of love.

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  19. I am sorry to hear this. I know Parker is in capable, loving hands. Sending you both good thoughts.

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