I
have a non-fiction book called The
Crowded Hours, about a man’s adventurous life in peace and war. When one
has cats, one need not enlist in a foreign army and fight in exotic lands to
experience diverse and strange events.
Friday
evening, I was watching Raleigh. He has been feeling under the weather, for
which I have been giving him Mirtazapine, to stimulate his appetite, and
Restoralax, to stimulate his bowels; a form of burning the candle at both ends,
as it were. Peachy had been constipated a few days before, so I was keeping an
eye on his litter-box visits. This time, he came out of the store-room, where
the boxes are kept, not having scraped or battered at the interior walls of a
litter-box, his habit after having done what nature requires of him. Something
was amiss. I was certain of this when he lie down just outside the storeroom,
and then lifted his leg several times, as if to clean his bum, but without
actually doing so.

It
turned out that he had not completed his duty. That is to say, it hadn’t
finished its extrusion. Well, well. Picking Raleigh up, I took him to the
bathroom, where I had to use a few strong-arm tactics to persuade the
recalcitrant little wastrel to make its full appearance. This elicited some
cries of dismay from the Peach, but more, I fancy, in alarm than pain. Oddly,
the product was not hard, only firm. Why it stranded itself in mid-voyage, I
can’t say.
Whatever
the cause, I was able to cast away the problems and leave Raleigh surprisingly
clean. Afterward, he suffered no ill effects, and today completed the
transaction properly. He continues to receive Restoralax, both to soften the
business and ease the path.
Josie,
on the other hand, had a problem with the opposite end. She threw up her
dinner. This happens with her sometimes, depending on how fast and how much she
eats. She alerted me to the situation with her usual ‘wah wah wah’ cries. When
I reached the bedroom, where she had been lying, she was already stepping down
from the bed, on her way to the bathroom. After several years of me carrying or
shepherding her to that uncarpeted floor, my Chubs attempts to get there on her
own whenever she feels the biliousness come upon her. (I also have cardboard
cartons and box lids to slip under her mouth if I have time.)

The
Great White regurgitated a suitable amount thrice, which is her normal number
of efforts, then returned to the bedroom for a drink of water and another
lie-down. I had to run errands, satisfied that Josie was recovering. I was
wrong. When I came home, I noted that she had chucked the up twice more – on the
bathroom floor. She must have felt the urge come upon her and hurried to where
she knew she should go.
So,
while it was a busy and perhaps regrettable evening, it was not unadulteratedly
bad, and the two subjects of this little essay did their coöperative best to
ease both their troubles and my work. I could have done without such actions,
but, as one realises as one ages, things could have been far worse. I – and the
cats – had a good sleep that night.
Oh,
and Renn urinated in the bath-tub.