Friday, May 15, 2020

Gone On Ahead


Raleigh died at 10.05 this morning.

When I came home yesterday, I saw that his breathing was ragged; I think he was in considerable discomfort. I gave him some Gabapentin, and an hour or so later, he seemed to be feeling better. But I knew that the pain-killer was only a very temporary relief. There was no point to delaying what needed to happen, as he was not going to get better. He might have a good evening, or a meal that he enjoyed, but those would be exceptions to the new rule.

The Trout Towne Tabbies asked Saint Francis to stay with Peachy, and I think he must have: my boy didn’t seem as scared at the hospital this time. He stayed in his carrier - the top was removed - and his spirit shed his body quickly; just the slightest anxiety when the drug entered his system, and then it was over. My ugly spaniel died a most beautiful boy.


Cammie died at 3.47 this afternoon.

This morning, there was no improvement following last night’s stroke, as there had been a few hours after her first stroke last year. She continued to walk in circles, and her right rear leg was almost completely lame. She ate some food, but I had to have it touch her mouth; I don’t think she could smell. Despite knowing where the litter-boxes were, she pooped on the rug near by. Also, she ate favouring one side of her mouth, and with her head tilted. I thought it would be cruel to let her continue like that for even another day. There would be no getting better; only confusion and frustration at best, pain and fear at worst.

My princess was uncharacteristically coöperative at the hospital; probably a sign of her deterioration. The Cammie of a month ago would not have put up with such probing and poking. She died swiftly and without pain.

Because of how they came to live with me, Raleigh and Cammie were cared for by different veterinary hospitals. We couldn’t have received more consideration from either institution. I was able to be with my friends when they died. They were horrible experiences, but I wouldn’t have been anywhere else.

81 comments:

  1. Oh John, how terribly sad and I'm so, so sorry about Raleigh and the dear Princess Cammie. Their passing leaves holes in all of our hearts. Thank you for caring for them so and for sharing them with us.

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    1. Only time will fill in those holes, and even then, never completely. There will always be spaces where they used to be. Thank you for your sympathy.

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  2. I’m in shock, John. What a nightmarish day.

    I commented some time ago that you write about your cats so beautifully, I feel like they’re part of my own cat family. Even though I never met any of the cats you’ve lost, I mourn them as if they had been mine.

    I don’t know if this can be any consolation, but my love and prayers go out to Raleigh and Cammie—and you, in this painful time. And I’m thankful that you were able to provide them with a merciful end.

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    1. There is indeed great consolation in the warmth of friends at such a time. Thank you. I hope all is going well with you and your own family.

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  3. John, I'm so terribly sorry, my heart is filled with sadness for you. It seems unimaginably cruel to lose two beloved companions in one day. I had been watching the clock this afternoon, knowing you're 2 hours behind me, praying for a quick and gentle passing and for comfort for you. Raleigh and Cammie are free of their bodies' constraints now, are at peace, and I only hope that you will be able to find some solace after today's ordeal. Sending Light and hugs. 🙏

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    1. Their passings were gentle and swift. I like to think that Raleigh waited for Cammie. Thank you as always for your long-distance visits to the Cosy Apartment.

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  4. Oh dear - we are so so sad John, but know how great a job you did of looking after these two sweethearts, and how much love you gave them. What a bad day for you, but we are thinking somehow that they crossed the bridge together.

    Julie and Poppy Q
    xxx

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    1. Cammie wouldn't be able to see until she arrived in that great place beyond life, so maybe Raleigh was able to help. Thank you for thinking of us.

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  5. I’m crying thinking of having to say goodbye to two dear friends on the same day. My heart breaks for you. Sending comfort and peace to you.

    Christine with Ollie, Clementine, Mica, and Kiko

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    1. Thank you for coming to visit and for your kindness. My best to you and your four.

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  6. Perhaps the Peachy one and the Princess found their way over the Rainbow Bridge together. At least I can but hope it was so. Peace, they have it now, while you grieve. They never live as long as we would wish but this is too soon, too much all at once. My sympathy and condolences for your losses.

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    1. I was just thinking about a post from a few days ago about how Raleigh was trying to make friends with Cammie.

      I like to think they’re now the best of pals. Forever.

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    2. I agree. Cats sense things we can never know about, and I believe that Raleigh knew that both of them did not have much time left on Earth. I believe that it gave him a sense of affinity to Cammie.

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    3. I like to think that in the place where there is nothing bad, my cats are now friends and spend their time to together.

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  7. John, I have read your blog for years and never commented. Thank you for all your love and generosity, sharing your life and the cats' lives with so many of us. Your blog is a spot of brightness in a dark world, and you are the best cat-papa any cat would be lucky to have. I hope you have peace in that. All my sympathy for your losses.

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    1. Thank you for your kind and complimentary words. It was thoughtful of you to visit and remember my wonderful cats.

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  8. Oh no, I'm so very sorry John. What an absolutely horrible, no-good day for you. While I'm grateful that both Raleigh and Cammie were able to have you with them as they left this world, it is just awful. I'm thankful too, their passing were easy.

    Thank you for everything you do for your cats. Take care of yourself as your grieve your special Cammie and Raleigh.

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    1. I'm glad I waswith them, too. I wanted the last thing they heard, felt and smelled to be the person who loved them.

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  9. God bless you John..!
    Have'nt followed for very long,
    but your pussy~cats have, like a
    lot of others, Poppy!x etc. become
    part of my every day life..!
    Love to read about all their fun
    and interesting lives..but not this,
    l know it happens, and it's an awful
    experience, been through it a few times
    myself..My George went over, some ten
    years ago..l said then..no more!
    Take care Now! 🙏🙏

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    1. George must have been very special. Thank you for your kind words, Willie.

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  10. I am so sorry, John.
    It is heartbreaking to have to say goodbye to one family member, but two on the same day must be unbearable.
    You gave them both love and care, as you have and will continue to do with all your cats.
    Cammie and Raleigh knew how much you loved them and carried that love with them to their 10th lives.
    My heartfelt condolences go to you.

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    1. Eric and Flynn, though they died years apart, were a pair, and their loss must have been doubly painful for the two of you because of that. We all know loss. Thank you for your words. I especially like the idea of the cats' tenth life.

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  11. Your tears have become mine. Now I share my prayers with you
    on this terrible loss.

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    1. Thank you, Ann. And thank you once more for the lovely remembrances.

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  12. As Undine expressed to you, I feel both cats are members of my own furred family. I also grieve their passing. Like Undine, I am grateful as well for their lives being loving with you, and for mercy at the end. I will tell you there are tears here from seeing the title onward. I so dreaded this having to happen. A new normal is so difficult. XX to the other cats and hugs to you.

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    1. The new normal will take time, but it may not be a better normal, not for a long time, at least...

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  13. John I am so very sorry to read about your precious furries Raleigh and Cammie. I send you many purrs from Raleigh, NC
    Cecilia

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    1. Thank you for your purrs. The apartment seems empty without them, even though there are four others who are loved and well.

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  14. May St. Francis guide Angel Raleigh and Angel Cammie to their forever rest.
    My heart breaks for you.

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    1. Thank you, Vicky. I think Saint Francis must have been with them. They didn't seem scared at all.

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  15. I'm so very sorry, John. It's so hard to let them go. Big healing hugs. ♥

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    1. Very hard to let them go, but sometimes there is no choice. Very hard. Thank you for writing to me.

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  16. Oh John I am so very very sorry and heart broken for you....

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    1. Thank you. I read about the loss of the foster-kittens, of course. At least Raleigh had a few years of life. Very unfair...

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  17. So sorry to see they both are gone, John. What care and love and
    companionship you had with Cammie and Raleigh. They had such a safe
    home to spend time in. Not that long since Parker passed, now these
    two. So difficult for us humans to consider.

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    1. I am glad to have been able to give them a home. I do think they felt safe and loved here. That is some comfort. Thank you for your thoughts.

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  18. we are so sorry fur yer losses. now your babies angels are free to fly around over your head, watch fur them.

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    1. If they know how much I love them, I will have consolation. Thank you for your words.

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  19. How very sad. ((((hugs)))

    The Florida Furkids

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    1. Indeed it is very sad. But your thoughts are most appreciated. Thank you.

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  20. What awful news. I'm so sorry, John. I can't imagine losing two cats on the same day. We know how much you loved Cammie and Raleigh, and they loved you in return. Please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

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    1. I know you have six yourself. Right now, even with four remaining, the Cosy Apartment feels quite empty. Thank you for your words. Whether here or in another blog-post, they are always welcome and appreciated.

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  21. Oh, how terrible sad. So sorry of the loss of your kitties😿Soft Pawkisses to comfort you. Fly Free beautiful souls💗💗💗

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    1. You are very kind to write to me. I do imagine them flying free and healthy right now.

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  22. John I apologize first for not commenting as often, I just have not been able to, but that is another story for another day. I cannot fathom losing two sweet cats in such a brief span of time, I am so deeply sorry for the loss of both Raleigh and Cammie, words just cannot express the deep sadness I feel for you and them. Even though as you spoke, it was for the betterment of them to release them, it brings such profound sadness. I wish I knew some magical antidote that would help, but alas there is none. I will keep you and your other beautiful cats in my thoughts and prayers.

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    1. You needn't apologise. Life is a difficult thing sometimes, and usually dictates to us, not the other way around. I hope things will improve for you soon. In the meantime, thank you for your sympathy and prayers.

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  23. I am so very sorry for your double loss. I cannot imagine the heartache. We are sending hugs and purrs and our deepest sympathy.

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    1. Cammie and Raleigh were very different, but their ends were the same, as they always must be. Thank you for your thoughts. They are much appreciated.

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  24. We are so sorry for your loss. Purrs and hugs for you.

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    1. Thank you. It is so gratifying to have such sympathy. You are very kind.

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  25. I am so sorry for your loss, John. Losing one fur baby is hard enough, much less two in the same day. My thoughts are with you as you grieve your sweet cats.

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    1. I had hoped that Cammie might recover, even a little, but it wasn't going to happen. To delay her departure would have been unpleasant for her. I like to think that she and Raleigh are together, and waiting.

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  26. Oh Dear Heaven - two at once ! We are so sorry ! We send all the purrayers and POTP we can> They knew they were loved, and they will never really leave you !

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    1. You're right: they will always be with me. Thank you.

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  27. We are so sad to read of this double loss. Our Best Purrs Of Comfort to you...

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    1. Thank you. I know of your recent loss, of course, and how you've taken in another, because love and compassion won't be denied. God bless you, and thank you.

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  28. I am so sorry for your loss. I recently loss my Pearl. I can’t even imagine losing two in one day. My heart goes out to you!

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    1. So many in the Cat Blogosphere seem to have lost someone lately. I just read about your Pearl. Though she wasn't socialised as you would have liked, she clearly felt safe and loved. She was home, and will be waiting to be reunited with you. This I believe. Thank you for your words.

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  29. Fly Free Dear Cammie and Raleigh. You have pushed past the days expected with the wonderful care given by your Dad who in our opinion is a giant in the rescue community and more so as a compassionate human being. We know you are free of pain and now young and full of energy at the Bridge so watch over us as you fly by on your wings of light and love. Sprinkle a little Kitty Angel Dust on those in need and we shall all meet and laugh about our lives when we meet again as we all must. Purrs and prayers of support to your Dad who we know is feeling all this sudden change deeply
    Timmy, Dad Pete, Toby, Rumpy Bump, Miss Fitz and Einstein

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. These cats make it easy to be loving and generous, so I can claim no great qualities. I know of your work and love for cats, too, and your losses. I like to think all of our furry ones have met and, because where they are now is a perfect land, have decided to be friends. Even Cammie...

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  30. We are so very sorry to hear about Raleigh and Cammie. Losing one is hard enough...but two? Even though they had health issues, it's still not easy. Sending you many comforting purrs...

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    1. Though Raleigh had FIV, I thought he would live a long time. Perhaps that was my vanity. My youngster and a senior left on the same day; maybe they will guide each other toward the next life.

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  31. I am so sorry for your losses, we're sending purrs and prayers your way.

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    1. Thank you for your good wishes. My two were very special - but then, every cat is, isn't it? Each different, each perculiar, each wonderful. Thank you again.

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  32. WE are so so sorry a about your losses. It is just the hardest thing to lose our fur animals. Sending you lots of hugs and good thoughts.

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    1. I know you too have lost cats recently, so the sorrow of their absence is fresh with you, as well. The pain of loss dulls, but never goes away completely. Thank you for your kindness.

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  33. Cammie and Raleigh going to the Bridge. How very, very sad.
    We're so sorry and hope that knowing you gave so much love and caring will comfort you now. - Mom Julie, Tom, Bridget xoxoxo

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    1. Thank you, Julie, Tom and Bridget. I know you are certainly not immune to such loss, though I wish you were. I wouldn't want anyone to feel this. Thank you again.

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  34. Oh John! I am so so sorry. I was behind on reading blogs and was shocked to read this. I can hardly see my keyboard because of my tears. How devastating to lose both so close together. My deepest condolences and wish I could give you hug.

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    1. Thank you for your kindness. It's like a disaster has overtaken a third of my population. How is your own family, human and animal? I haven't heard in a while.

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    2. Thank you for asking how we are doing. With so much happening in your household it's kind of you to ask.
      We are doing okay. I'm still missing my princess Lucy and my dog Maisie. Hoping the tears and heartbreak eases up soon. My tabby boys are doing great. In fact Ozzy has become more affectionate since I lost Lucy in October of last year. That affection is so appreciated.
      Still obeying the "stay at home" here in Illinois. Thankfully all family members are doing well!
      Stay safe and healthy, John. My thoughts are with you and your furbabies.

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  35. I am so sorry for the loss of your two beautiful kitties. Life can be so unfair. XO

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    1. It is unfair but more so to the cats than to me. They should have had more out of life, especially young Raleigh. I consider myself lucky to have known them.

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  36. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine how difficult it is to lose two of your sweet kitties on the same day. Just heartbroken.. Please accept my sincerest condolences.

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    1. Thank you. You are very kind. It does help to know such thoughts are coming my way.

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  37. We are so very sorry for your loss.

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    1. Thank you. The unexpectedness of the both of them going has been rather hard.

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  38. Raleigh N Cammie; we left blogland last week with hopes that all would be improved for both of you. In your worlds now; that you both are in heaven; living without fear, stress, anxiety, pain, suffering, and any other verbiage we might find; we know you both are ~~~~~~~ in our world where we have lost two very very good friends, we are sad beyond belief. In dad's world, we send nothing but hugs and loves because we can't even begin to imagine how devastating this day was. Godspeed Cammie; Godspeed Raleigh; we will never forget either of you. And now because we can, we are going to have a good cry ♥♥♥♥♥ tuna, dai$y and mackerull ♥♥♥♥♥

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    1. Both in Heaven, without fear or pain. Yes...

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  39. I'm so sorry to hear about Raleigh and Cammie. Losing just one is hard enough. I lost 2 of my little dogs this year. Maybe my Amber and Jennie were there to meet Raleigh and Cammie when they arrived in Heaven.

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    1. I didn't know about Jennie, but I read of Amber's passing. It's so very unfair. But I think they will all be waiting for us, waiting together.

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