Tuesday, May 27, 2014

The Raid

Tungsten receives a special diet. She is given California Natural hard-food, simply because it evidently tastes a little better than other foods, and thus encourages her to eat more, and gain weight. All the beasts enjoy their Orijen hard-food and eat as much of it as I provide, but they like the flavour of the California Natural, and are always sniffing after Tungsten’s rations, especially Josie.

I keep the orange one’s food in a small bowl, and, when it is not being used, it sits on top of the micro-wave oven. When I go to bed, or leave the house, it goes into the micro-wave oven. I use the oven that often. (That’s why I don’t buy a newer model, one that weighs less than a hundred pounds; I just don’t need it much.)

One day last week, I left for work and forgot to put the bowl of California Natural in the micro-wave oven. This is what I found when I returned.

Someone had jumped onto the oven and had, probably, eaten from the bowl, pushing it with their snout, until it fell off. The crash of the metal bowl must have been terrific, and frightening – I’ll bet even Tungsten was startled by that. But once everyone had recovered from their surprise, they undoubtdly converged on the upset food.

Who could have done this daring deed?

SUSPECT 1: Josie certainly had motive. She is always attempting to eat from Tungsten’s bowl, even trying her chin on the shoulder trick to intimidate the Tiny Terror, who of course isn’t bothered in the least. But to leap from the floor up to the top of the oven? I haven’t seen Josie levitate even half that distance. She could have used the table to cut down on the height, and flown laterally, but there is just too little of the oven on which to land at that angle, at least for a cat of my Chubs’s girth. She simply had not the means.

SUSPECT 2: Tungsten of course may have been hungry. But she is older than she was when I was astounded by her five and a half foot jumps straight up into the air. That was when she was a spry seven year old. She still rockets about the house from time to time, but she is hesitant to make hazardous leaps. Besides, if no California Natural is available, she is happy to make do with Orijen. She had motive, but no incentive.

SUSPECT 3: Tucker I also disqualified. The roly poly one is the size and shape of an over-inflated rugby football, with the weight of a medicine ball. He does jump from the bedroom cat-stands to the bed, but the distance, angle and height of that endeavour do not rival any attempt to get on the micro-wave oven. As well, though he has sniffed about Tungsten's food, he doesn’t like it as much as that. Therefore, he lacked motive and means.

SUSPECT 4: That leaves Renn. My big boy is young and strong. His legs are pure muscle, and I’ve seen him attain heights of five feet in his leaps from the floor. Though I have never seen him overly engrossed in any attempt to eat Tungsten’s food, he has stopped by her bowl as soon as the orange one has finished there. I’m sure he would partake of the contents if I let him. And a few weeks before, he had leaped onto the top of the micro-wave oven, using the table as a springboard. At the time, I thought it was simple high spirits. But perhaps he was seeking the forbidden food. His scientific mind would have pointed out the necessity of reconnaissance first.

So I reluctantly have concluded that my big boy was a bad boy. He had his snack and probably permitted the others to feast off the fallen remains. There was nothing I could do when I discovered the crime scene. The deed was done.

And it was dinner-time, anyway.


  1. Renn does seem to be the likeliest suspect. Though you might be surprised at what the others can do when you're not around. :-)

    (I once caught Chumley, who was a tall, BIG, heavy boy, jumping up where I never thought he could, surprised the heck out of me. Ditto for Derry, a few times.)

    1. You're right. These animals constantly surprise us. Renn is likeliest, but all the others are capable - if not culpable...

  2. They all look very guilty to me!!! MOL

  3. Too cute, that happens sometimes around here except there are a lot more suspects. I would have to say it was the Big Boy. He looks very happy. Bet they all had such a good time. Take care.

  4. Sounds like it must have been Renn, but at least he left some for the others to share.

  5. oh come on....no way is that cute face guilty :)

  6. Well, whoever it was, I guess it was nice o them to share!

  7. We think it was the elusive "Not Me." ;)

  8. Renn duz looks guilty and we thinks Not Me helped him...

  9. Come on big fellow you left crumbs. Whats with that? We hoover up every speck when Dad gives us our kibble treats. MOL