Friday, December 28, 2018

Feeding the Borg

I am not a Trekkie, or Trekker, or whatever fans of the different Star Trek series call themselves. I did watch the original television series, as well as most episodes of The Next Generation and Deep Space Nine, however, and, thanks to my memory’s phenomenal capacity for recollecting anything that has little value to my life, I can remember the majority of what happened in each.

In one episode, the crew of the Enterprise fought the Borg (the imaginatively named race of cyborgs intent on conquering the universe, as cyborgs usually are.) The crew found to their dismay that the Borg had developed individual force-fields (if that isn’t an illogical item for a race of collective beings to possess) which protected each Borg from the fire of hand-phasers. Picard et al. were forced to adjust their phasers to shoot each time at a different frequency, thus being able to penetrate the force-fields that one time. The Borg would modulate their force-fields, only to be confronted by a phaser-beam with a different frequency the next shot.

I realised that this is how I feed my cats soft-food.

As every cat-fancier knows, a cat’s inclination to eat a specific flavour or brand is in inverse proportion to how much of it the fancier buys. What feline tastes enjoy today, they will not like the next day when presented with the first of two dozen tins of what had been, until then, their favourite. Furthermore, a cat will often change preferences during a day, disdaining in the evening what she thought the greatest thing since sliced cat-nip in the morning. Not satisfied with that, a cat will sometimes decide it wants nothing to do with even a second helping of what it consumed with such gusto a minute previously, though it will find plenty of room for another flavour thrust upon him a moment later.



So it is that I find myself repeatedly alternating foods during any one meal-time. It is as if I were under attack by a race of small, furry Borg, and my only defence is continually to switch the frequency of brands, varieties, flavours and mixtures to keep them provided with something they don’t expect.

My tactics don’t always work. Now and then, a cat will like nothing given to him. For the most part, however, I am able to feed, one way or another, all six of the beasts, not only keeping them alive, but keeping them interested, to an extent, in their nutrition. I save the galaxy one meal at a time.

14 comments:

  1. I've noticed the same thing about where they choose to spend their time. On one day, a certain spot in the house is their favorite place in the world. You couldn't remove them from it with dynamite. The next day--after I've done everything I could to make it comfortable for them--they won't go near the place.

    The Cat Fancier Life is a full and exciting one.

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  2. I *was* a Trekkie/Trekker when I was younger (through my 20s and 30s), but thanks to my memory’s phenomenal inability to recollect anything that has little value to my life, I can't recall what happened in most episodes. Though I do remember the Borg in general, given that they showed up through Voyager as well as TNG and DS9.

    However, I certainly can relate to this post! Derry himself just refused the Merrick beef paté (I see you have it in your cat pantry) that he so eagerly ate a few hours ago.

    Frankly, I think feeding two cats is bad enough. I would pull out my hair, and/or drink on a daily basis, if I tried to manage feeding six!

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  3. My goodness, that is quite the stash! I buy three different version s of Fancy Feast (which were on sale on Boxing Day, hooray), and rotate the tins so that they get something different every day. Thus far, this has kept both Sasha and Saku satisfied. Occasionally I might try something else or a different flavour but found that they (so far) prefer these and will empty their dishes.

    As for the Star Wars...you got me, because I watched none of it. Though I do know what a cyborg is/was. :)

    Eileen

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  4. Well, if my supermarket ever runs out of cat food, now I know where to go! :-) However, instead of small furry Borg, I think we're under attack by fussy Tribbles.

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    1. What I need then is a huge granary of quadratriticale...

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    2. Quadratriticale...that's a word I haven't heard in years. It's manufactured by Purina, isn't it?? ;-)

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  5. Yep, we understand that at our house too. I find it tricky with one cat, and can't imagine how you manage with your tribe.

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  6. That is a great way to describe it. :) My hubby is a Trekkie, he even has a Star Trek themed Christmas tree.

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  7. I know exactly what you mean. I had the same with Eric and Flynn, and that was just two of them!

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  8. Other favorite brother is leaving for Charlotte today after a week here with us and we are binging on all things Star Trek. I can almost recite the lines of TOS with them, and the others, TNG, Voyager, Deep Space 9..are equally loved and re-enjoyed. We are all cat people and we are all Star Trek people. Having said all that (good grief)! I will say that little Miss Muffet here, Katie, is the same and I am often on a mission to find what she will eat. You are spot on re: the inclination to eat IS in inverse proportion to the food they love(d) well stocked in the cabinet. Here Here!!!

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  9. Da Boyz, Angel and The 'O' Cats all react like they haven't been fed in a WEEK when it's meal time...actually, about 30 minutes before meal time, and only The Hubby can withstand the racket and not cave in to the constant noise to put out food early. However, I can imagine the supreme frustration of having a turned up nose at something that was eaten with relish at the last meal! It's quite obvious that cats train the human.

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  10. Hah! It was the same when we were using can food in the past :D Now we're making cats food on our own ;)

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