Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Her Name Was Tungsten

It was a silly name, really. But years ago, before I had a pet, I determined that ‘Tungsten’ would be a good name for either a cat or a dog, whether male or female. And so this little orange animal became Tungsten.

It’s been more than a month since she died. I had her ashes back after a week or so, but I was looking for the right picture frame for her memorial. I wanted something simple and straightforward. Tungsten was simple and straightforward, too; there was not much guile to her. She was the household’s top-cat from the moment she arrived. Well, when she arrived, there was just her and myself. With the growth of my feline family, however, Tungsten remained its head. None of the perma-cats disputed her authority. She grew to be friends with Renn, but kept even him in line.


With me, Tungsten was insistent and bossy, soft and vulnerable. There were a few times when she would wake from a nap and cry out; perhaps her dreams were unsettling, and she was afraid. I would come and pet her and talk to her. She would purr and purr, and rub her fuzzy face against my hand. Other times, when I would be having a snack, she would walk over to me with her deliberate pace, as if she were going to receive nothing more than her due. I would have toast and tea before bed, and she would jump up onto my lap - latterly, I would have to lift her. There she would wait for her tribute - a little piece of buttered toast - after which she would get down and return to her cat-bed. It was a token, a symbol of what the tiny terror deserved as top-cat.


Tungsten was smart. She quickly learned routines. When I started giving her different hard-food from the others, in order to put some weight on her, I would provide it in the bathroom. I think I started that so I could isolate her from others who wanted her food. I would feed the orange one whenever she wanted, so she would sit on the threshold of the bathroom when she was feeling peckish.

Most nights, she would curl up in my hand while I lie in bed, and complain if I wasn’t lying in the right position to allow that. Some nights, she would stay in her cat-bed, which was heated, to keep that tiny, thin body of hers warm. That cat-bed was her favourite spot. She loved snoozing on my lap, and I spent extra time reading or listening to music because I didn’t want to disturb her when she was there.

So many memories, so many things of which I want people to know… But I know her. She will always be a part of me, a part of my life. Her name was Tungsten. I will remember her.

18 comments:

  1. Soft wooooos, with much respect,

    Nuk & Family

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  2. You've written a very beautiful tribute to a beloved companion and friend. No one ever could have known Tungsten as you did, but we're glad we became acquainted with her in this small way, via your blog. Purrs and peace.

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  3. Write down all that you remember. I know that it will sound strange, but as time moves on somehow the fog of the passage washes away memories of everyday things. Things that will matter to you. I am grateful to have many documented on Abby's blog, and it will always remain her blog, no matter if we are manx - less or manx - filled. I wish I had recorded more, not less. So all the things you spoke of so movingly will be forever recorded here and also as strange as it may be, I found such comfort in the blogosphere because it was where Abby was (is). She is still there and she will always remain my icon, my name, my voice.

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    1. Yes, you are right. Tungsten will always be part of the blogosphere, always alive to whomever wants to read about her. Like Abbey on your blog, Tungsten will be at the centre of mine forever.

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  4. we love that name.....and can tell from your words JUST how very special she was...

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  5. tungsten is a fine name and had she not approved; you would know. thanx for sharing more of her story; it was nice to read as we are newcomers to your blog...

    the food serviss gurl and da tabbies ♥

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  6. I don't know, that last picture just finished mum off!! Hugs xx

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  7. What a beautiful tribute to Tungsten. Rest in peace sweet girl.

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    1. Thank you for your words. I am glad Tungsten is known to so many people.

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  8. Such a beautiful tribute. Purrs to you.....

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  9. You must be glad to have your girl back home. It was a lovely post.

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  10. Very nice tribute to your beautiful Tungsten.

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  11. I have to agree, that is one terrific tribute to the orange one. I love how you have her ashes next to her picture. Very nice and it is good to remember times with her. You have a great day.

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  12. This is a beautiful post full of love for Tungsten. It is a lovely name and it suited her.

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  13. That was beautiful, just like Tungsten.

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  14. And what a beautiful name she had. Tungsten. Strong and unique no doubt just like your orange one. We know how initially sad yet comforting it is to have her remains there with you. Rest in peace sweet one.

    the critters in the cottage xo

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  15. I think her name is a very fine name. This is a lovely tribute to Tungsten. Thank you for sharing it with us. From Eileen and Jessica

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  16. A beautiful memorial. I wish I had known her longer, I'll go back and read old posts to get to know her more. She sounds like my senior, Buddy, who needs things to be done in his way. Purrs.

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