Sunday, September 12, 2021

The Reflexes of a Cat-owner

One may often hear people speak of the reflexes of a cat. But not many refer to the reflexes of a cat-owner. They can often be as swift, indeed, instantaneous, as those of the feline. They are not always swift enough, but they usually run a close second.

Last night, I was asleep, probably dreaming, as I usually do, when I was woken by the unmistakable sound of a cat about to vomit. Strangely (or not), I recognised the peculiar version of the sound that belongs to Tucker. He and Renn were, as is normal, on the bed, so I seized Tucker and, knowing his regurgitive habits, realised that I had no time to take him to the uncarpetted bathroom. Nor did I have sufficient time to grab one of the ‘half-boxes’ that cat-food tins come in and that are kept, one in each room, for such emergencies. So I held the poor roly poly, suspended in the air, over where I figured would be the varnished wooden steps at the foot of the bed. Hoping he was placed so that he avoided any fold of the comforter, I heard him do what he had to.

When I had leisure to turn on a light, I saw that my aim – and the Tuxter’s – had been true, and that the small amount of hairball-induced puke had landed on the easily-cleaned steps.

But, like a bad horror movie that provides one climax too many, the scene was not finished. Renn, out of sympathetic heaving or mere coincidence, announced that he too was about to upchuck. He allows me a minute amount of time more than does Tucker (not a minute; the amount is too minute for that), so I was able to grab the half-box and slip it under his out-flow spout before he let loose. I then moved him to the bathroom in case he was not completed his ejectory activities.

I don’t always achieve such a victory over the wretched forces of wretching, certainly not a double play, or what a gentleman shooting in the country would call a right-and-left. It was a red-letter night that only a cat-owner could appreciate and celebrate. Years ago, I wouldn’t have been so rapid in my response because, though younger, I was not as practiced. In years to come, my experience will be dulled by age. I fancy then that I am at the peak of my cat-owner reflexion, to be measured by an unsullied bedspread and a box full of stomach contents.

21 comments:

  1. Ahh...I think every cat parent can relate to your story. We've all "been there - done that" as the saying goes!

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  2. I'm not always so quick, and Derry tends to run as he throws up (away from me, naturally), so there can be a long trail of splatters. (Gross, I know, but such is life with pets.)

    May your reflexes continue to be quick for many years yet!

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    1. Renn will run sometimes, too, so I was lucky this time.

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  3. HaHa! Sorry John..but, l had to laugh..
    I don't read books, book~books..loads
    of pages with words on..Patience..or
    lack of it, l can never sit and read a
    book, so much so, that as far as the
    classics are concerned..l wait for the
    films to come out..! :O)

    But! Then, l thought, why should l read
    a book, when l can enjoy a Blog post,
    such as this..HeHe! Off to bed shortly,
    were hopefully l shall dream of Tucker
    and Renn..being held aloft..by the
    lord and master, hoping for a well aimed
    puke..! Bless! :).

    Nite! Nite! Tucker..Nite! Nite! Renn...
    Oh! And Goodnight John..! :)

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  4. A gold medal-winning performance, if getting-heaving-cats-off-one's-bed was a competition!

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    1. Yes it would! I had that happen night before last! I heard it...the heaving started...it was pitch black in the room...and I had to shoo her off the bed. I'd rather clean it from the rug and carpet, than change out the whole bed.

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  5. Sounds like the makes of a 3 Stooges movie. Can't imagine being
    woken and move that quick, kudos to you.

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  6. A double vomiting pair - wow. That is one sound that can wake me up pretty quickly.

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  7. Well done. Your reflexes are as only another cat parent would recognize and give kudos for a job very well done. And double feature too! Very well done, I must say.
    And I have to admit I am grinning.

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  8. Oh yea, that sound does seem to get the humans moving no matter the time!

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  9. Yup...I know that Olympic maneuvering and aiming for the target too well...from days gone by, though I must admit, not from two at once, LOL! Now *that* takes talent!!

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  10. Wow, that's impressive. Two saves in rapid succession!

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  11. I'm so sorry John, but like the others this post made me smile! Waking up from a sound sleep to hear a cat getting ready to vomit is like a marathon. Sometimes we win and most times we don't. When Ozzy wakes up to vomit he usually runs from me. I'm going to try your idea with the small box. I hope you were able to get enough sleep because I know Tucker and Renn did! Teehee!

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    Replies
    1. I've heard of people using paper dishes for the same purpose. Just make sure they are stiff enough to hold...

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  12. Well done John! I don't wake enough to make such maneuvers, the best I can do is toss the cat off the bed. Thank goodness for a small green machine. Though perhaps I need to keep one of those boxes in the room...in case I do get there in time.

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  13. Oh the joys of having tile and hardwood throughout. Of course yesterday Einstein, let loose on the small mat under the cat dishes. Ah-Ha! You are the one who finished off breakfast I told him

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    1. I envy you. When I moved into my apartment, I noticed that a couple of vacant apartments were having their carpet taken up and vinyl flooring put in, the same sort that is in my kitchen and bathroom. I was hoping that they would do that with mine, but I guess the carpets were too new. The other apartments were one bedroom, and I wanted a two-bedroom flat.

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  14. "Catching cat vomit" would make an awesome Olympic event.

    Unfortunately, with my guys, that's just not possible. Although Ernie gives me plenty of warning before he upchucks, he refuses to aim at anything I hold out for him. When I try, he turns his head at the last moment, so I've just given up on that. As for Faux, he's so embarrassed about vomiting (I think he's afraid that I'll be mad at him for making a mess) that he runs off to some quiet corner to do it, leaving me to find a happy surprise later.

    Ah, Life With Cats.

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