Monday, November 24, 2014

Kola's Chance


The Lethbridge PAW Society, the rescue-group of which I am part, received an inquiry about Kola a couple of weeks ago. I am fostering that floofy mancat in the hopes that someone will choose him to live with forever, and this call was the sort of thing we wait for. However, the woman interested in Kola lives in Seattle, in the United States. That’s not a bad thing, but it does involve distance.

I am wary of any long-distance adoption now, following the unfortunate and abortive adoption of Cammie, earlier this year. The trouble with distances and adoptions is that if something goes wrong and the person wants to return the cat, that person may not consider the distance to travel worth the trouble; the cat may be handed off to someone else or put in a shelter. If faced with a returned cat, the PAW Society will do anything to make certain the cat comes back to it, rather than go elsewhere.


Even with these dangers, a long-distance adoption isn’t always a problem. Many of the rescuers whose blogs I read have had happy experiences, giving homeless cats wonderful families who live far away. Indeed, the PAW Society has, as it was pointed out to me, had cats adopted by people who then moved to distant locations. And certainly, Kola is one cat who has almost nothing that could initiate misgivings in a new adopter. His hygiene is excellent, he is not a fussy eater, he is friendly and playful, and has no trouble with other cats.

So what was my concern?

The person interested in Kola was very specific about what she wanted in a cat. Again, this is rarely a problem. Everyone who has adopted a cat has had certain qualities they would like to find in a new pet, though many of us are willing to forego most of them, especially when we find what an appealing little beast we’ve ended up with. There is nothing wrong with wanting particular qualities in a cat. After all, a person will be, hopefully, living with that cat for the rest of its life.

But the specificity of this person’s requests, combined with the distance, gave me some anxiety. I worried that if a person were exacting in what she wanted in a cat, she would be exacting in its fulfillment of her expectations. While a cat - or dog or person, or car or home - may check off all the boxes on a list, the situation may evolve differently in person. And when Kola was in person in Seattle, he would be hundreds of miles from everyone he knew.


The rescue-group shared my concerns yet, like me, they wanted the Floof King to have his chance. If his destiny lie half-way around the world, then he should go half-way around the world. But the worries remained, thanks to the memory of Cammie’s unhappy sojourn in Regina. As it turned out, Kola did not have one of the qualities that his prospective new person wanted. He is not a lap-cat; not yet, anyway. He is friendly and hurries over to urge me to pet him. He enjoys attention and seeks it out. He lies beside me to receive it. But he is not a lap-cat. He may be some day, perhaps soon. When he first came to stay with me, he didn’t like lying next to me. And with a different person, he may be on a lap immediately. Who can say? But the woman in Seattle wanted that characteristic right away.

What if Kola were a lap-cat yet, when he arrived at his new home, he would have nothing to do with laps? Cats are like that. Would he have been unwanted as quickly as the woman unwanted him when she heard by telephone that he didn’t care for laps?

So Kola remains with me in foster-care for the time being. But he is a very adoptable cat, and even long-distance homes are not out of the question with this furry boy. All he needs is someone who realises that the cat they get may surprise them with qualities that will make them laugh and smile, grind their teeth, keep them up at night, boast to their friends, shake their heads… In other words, all the things one gets from a member of one’s family.

18 comments:

  1. I'll be honest here. I'm very wary of people who have a list of things they want in an animal companion. Oh, sure, gender and general age I can see, but when you have a shopping list like that, right out of the gate, to me it smacks of not being able to accept the animal for who s/he is. You're not open to finding love, IMO. Might as well go buy a stuffed toy animal. That could be unfair to this person, but to me it just smacks of a lack of understanding, tolerance, patience and willingness to let the animal be who he or she is. I'm glad Kola is with you still, and hope he finds the RIGHT forever home.

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    1. Those are good points; such an attitude on the part of a person hoping to adopt leaves no room for the cat to be different than what he or she wants. And who or what can be exactly what a person wants?

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  2. Oh yea, we know how tough those long distance adoptions can be.

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  3. Please John, no. The distance and the highly specific demands spell trouble. This sounds like it is all about the adopter and NOTHING about Kola. Most likely the person in question has been turned down by every agency where an in person interview was possible. She's now hunted down a spot where she won't have to have direct contact. I have such an incredible bad feeling about this. I was an open heart surgery nurse for many years and have learned to trust my gut instinct.
    Please, no.

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    1. Not to worry. Kola will be staying with me a while longer. But I'm sure the right home awaits him.

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  4. While we have helped with long distance adoptions, we worry the same thing. Shouldn't adoption be about personality? And that is a tough thing without meeting the cat in person...so we completely understand.

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  5. Oh Kola, I hope that you get to stay right where you are for now. We want you to have a home of your own. but we don't want you to have to make two very long trips. I hope they decide not to do that adoption. Take care.

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  6. This is something that I as a cat mommy have thought of when it comes to long distance adoptions. It worries me and I was glad to read your thoughts. They were fair and balanced. More than MINE would have been probably.

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  7. So many cats are adopted on a whim and grow to deep relationships I feel this fine fellow will find his home. If a true lap cat is wanted she may best go to a local rescue. Makes one wonder why she has not.
    Timmy and Dad

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  8. I have to say that although it will be lovely for Kola to get his forever home, I am glad this one fell through. Trust your instincts. You were uneasy about the home Cammie was going to and were proved right to be so.
    If this woman is so particular about the qualities of the cat she wants, she should be looking closer to home and spending some time with the cat of her choice to see if they are suited to each other.
    It makes me very uneasy that she wants to adopt, but is choosing an area that is far from her home and therefore not easy to check on her.

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    1. I'm sure the lady in question is a good person, but if she couldn't find the right cat for her in Seattle (the urban area of which includes 3,000,000 people), she may be a bit too picky.

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  9. A lot of people are like that. They want a cat, but a cat that will give them just the sort of affection they want, WHEN they want it, and on their terms, not the cat's. Felines being the independent-minded sorts they are, that usually does not make for a happy partnership.

    Through your blog, I've really fallen for Kola. If circumstances were different, I'd love to adopt him. But the distance problem aside, I think my four beasts would riot if I tried to bring one more into the household.

    *Sigh*

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    1. My Tungsten feels the same way, I'm sure. One more cat, and I'll feel her claws at my throat in the night.

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  10. I think it is important to go with your instincts John. I would definitely have doubts about someone with specific cat personality requirements. I am a long distance adopter as you might remember, and when I chose Jimmy and Kip from Crystal's rescue she was able to tell me what the cats were like. That was enough for me and I just let their lovely little personalities emerge without expectations. I would never dream of giving a cat back because it didn't sit on my lap but I can see how that happens because people with very fixed ideas set themselves up for disappointment and the poor cats are the ones who pay the price. Thank you for being such a diligent adoption screener, Kola is lucky to be in your care!

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  11. My Quinnie is totally different than brandi. Yes, both Tuxies, but beyond that, totally different. But who wants "same" all the time? Are all your neighbors and friends and co-workers the exact same? No? Well, why would anyone want the same qualities in each and every animal they adopt? Neither cats could be considered "lap cats" (although that is changing, I think, because she likes the new chair). Quinnie is definitely more talkative. And furrier. And pickier. But she does play (something brandi was kind of "meh" with later in life). I really had no expectations when I found Quinn. Other than somecat who would not scratch everything I own, and not holler at 3 am, and stay off my counters and properly use the litter box. Everything else is properly HERS. I got my list. And so much more!
    Long distance adoptions are truly scary. If the adopter is known, of course go ahead if you trust them. But the unknown is very unsettling. Keep looking for a furever home for Kola.
    If only I lived closer and they didn't have a "one animal" rule here. They do allow multiple fishes, but cats eat fish, they aren't actually fish.
    Sweet Kola, we are pulling for you. Blessed luck.

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  12. I share your concerns. Distance plus wanting very specific could mean heartbreak for dear Kola. But I do hope the right person comes along. Just look at this lovely boy. How could anyone not love him? From Eileen and Jessica

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  13. I would have been VERY hesitant myself when someone has multiple boxes to be ticked off. Your post was starting to cause ME anxiety between that and the distance. Cats aren't puppets, they are living beings. Still hoping Kola will find someone who is happy to have a sweet gentleman cat.

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  14. Goodness, I certainly miss a lot when I don't keep with the blog posts. I'm happy that Kola will be staying with for awhile yet. He needs a very special home, and that didn't sound like the "purrfect" place for such a special kitty!

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