I would like to thank all those who have commented on Josie’s death, on my blog and in emails. It is very kind of you to to take the time and effort to write these wonderful things about my old lady, and every word written to me is valued. I will respond to each, some directly, in the cases in which I can, others by means of a reply on this blog. If you aren’t notified automatically of a response, you can check for one; it may take a while for me to get through them all, but I will.
I also want to thank Ann from Zoolatry for the image she created for Josie and me, which I have added to my side-bar. I can’t recall taking the photograph that she used in it, which makes her gift even more treasured. Ann has brightened many dark days for us, and I thank her.
At the hospital yesterday, the doctor asked a poignant question when she was preparing Josie for the final injection. She inquired if I was sure that I wanted to euthanise my girl.
Was I sure? She was right to ask the question, of course, but how can one be sure? Perhaps Josie wasn’t in the discomfort I perceived her to be. Perhaps she was, but preferred to live with it, if it meant living. I couldn’t know, so I couldn’t be sure. All I could be was sure enough, sure enough to let Josie go.
And now there are the three beasts, plus little Xanadu. I kept thinking at meal-times that I needed to check on Josie, to see if she was eating or wanted more. This morning, the Cosy Apartment was very quiet: there was no screeching old woman demanding her breakfast.
As when Cammie died, things are easier, now that Josie is gone. I have one less cat to feed, and since she ate in a different room from the others, I had to keep going there to attend her. I don’t need to set food out at night, for her irregular eating habits. I don’t have to check to see if she didn’t quite make it in to the litter-box. I don’t have to keep the water in the bowl in the far corner of the bedroom refreshed as often. I don’t have to wait until she removes herself from the bed (where she sometimes chose to eat) so I could make it in the morning. Yes, life will be a little easier without Josie.
I wish it were harder again.